My Blog

Yesterday after taping a rather luscious fashion show I took a 151 bus home. After waiting 40 minutes in the frozen Chicago spring, I landed a perfect seat on the backside of the bus. Sitting with my two bags and flowers I accumulated at the show, this man sits next to me and carries a rather stupid conversation with me. Chit chat. I hate that kind of babble on a ride, but I gave in and stated the flowers were for my girlfriend. Ha, I dont want to out myself to a stranger who looks like a homophobe. I was getting irrate with the situation and the fact that he wasn’t going to stop talking, so I picked up my two bags and headed out the door. With the bus shifting alot I lost my balance and bumped into the man next to me, and other man who was looking at me the whole ride. I exited the bus and waited for the 146 to bypass all the sidestops to my condo. When I got on the bus I realized something… My cellphone was missing. I remembered I used it upon arrival to the stop, but noted it was indeed in the side pocket of one of the backpacks I was carrying. Sigh. I got robbed. Calling Tmobile and notifying them was terrible. An automated system that read like Ikea instructions telling me I have to file a claim with the police. Filing that claim with a rather hot sounding Officer Loeb I got all the information to recieve a new phone under my insurance provider Assurian. HA! Assure-Ian. Nice. So I wait now for my new phone and instead of freaking out about not having contact with the world via cellphone I choose instead to take my new found friend "the Nap" for a few testdrives. And wow am I suprised with the results. Comfort and relaxation, not to mention the new episodes of Family Guy and Simpsons and Princess Diaries on Disney. Sigh… to be 23.

Jay and ian go downtown during dusk to return an item to a store on michigan ave. I puts his flashers on and goes in with jay, when they get what jay needs, ian syas he’ll pull around and pick him up. He rounds the corner to find it not there. He looks around frantically. (Ian: my cars not there, Oh my god, my cars not there, its not there look/oh its there, (turns the corner and ) its not there…I told you/Oh my god./ I told you in the store - why would you park there anyway/because I have always done that/done what - parked there - yeah!/alright lets go over to the hotel/what do we do now? Where is it taken?)they enter a hotel lobby where two men and standing(ian; what do you do if you get towed?jay;call 311/man 1 yeah call 311/ian did you see a car get towed,/man2 when?/it was about 5 min. Ago!/man1 really, [sighs) (they exit the hotel lobby)ian so we call 311(ian dials 311 and the operator tells him where its going to be)ian its GOING to be a few hours!(looking at jay) ok, ok. Thanks/jay I told you./shut up. What do you wanna do now that we have to kill 2 hours/lets eat some where/yeah! You get greg, and I’ll get philip. Oh god- should I even tell him about this, or,er, uh he has to be there to pick it up. Shit! Ok, ok we’ll have a nice dinner - call greg, and tell him to meet us - we’ll have a double date!(ian calls philip, philip it asleep - his loud bird noises don’t even wake him up, and the sound begins, philip smiles a little in his sleep, moves a bit - but then falls back to sleep. ) ian on philips machine ) ian- hey philip! Guess what! Hahhahaha, I got the car towed, don’t worry, everythings fine, and I’ll pay - but I need you to come down and get it since it is registered in your name. Lol - I know this isn’t funny, but you gotta admit, at least its not a speeding ticket(looks at jay, jay is shaking his head a little) ok so what you need to do is come downtown - I’ll pay for the cab, to bandera, jay will be here with greg - like a double date and then we can go get the car all together. Bye - oh oh… Love you(said in a guilty way)
At dinner the camera pans back and forth around the table, sometimes getting peoples conversations. Philip-so you guys have a place in miami? Greg yeah / yeas,
/ian its the floridian right?/greg yeah, yeah it over looks the/(passing around to ian and jays converstaion) I told you/ian oh stop it now, we have a nice bottle of wine, and nice jazz, philip this what we need for angelinas/gregg - well this place has been here for what now - 10/jay yeah about 10 years./ian - well cheers to helping me out of my first and Last towing experience/cheers! ( philip and ian look at eachother and hit the table with their wine glass before they bring it to their lips, philip winks at ian-this is an ongoing tradition in the movie.

Philip and I are driving on a road, we are on a highway that is getting busier and more ghetto. There are three ars that are driving in the middle of the road the wrong way. Its getting darker and we are pulling off on a road that says halsted, although it looks nothing like the halsted I know. We walk into a car part store, and have to wait for this buzzer to let us in the particular section. There are a bunch of latino girls sitting outside talking, and I’m waiting for philip to do something. Then I hear him say - they have to hold your car because of something they did, and then they want to charge you for holding fees?? That’s not right. I look outside and see a girl wearing a pretty tight one piece, she tugs at it pulling the skirt down a bit. I reach into my wallet and look through the credit cards, trying to pay with my card….

I’ve gotta ad too, its his 4th day driving a taxi. Here are some rules to follow when driving me; when driving a patron, please feel out the person for the first five minutes of the ride. When the patron doesn’t want to talk, please let them sleep or work, just drive the car. Please be at the location when the patron has asked to be picked up. Know where the pick up location is. Clean the car, and understand how many people you will be driving. If you are driving people to Midway, please don’t ask them where they are going, how long, or anything delaying with ANY personal business. No references to 9-11 when you are flying to New York; this can be swayed, when the patron decides to talk about it.

I’m at a bus terninal and they are testing for a car bomb. I get the hint they actually found one, so I leave. I sit inbetween these two black girls who look 13, but their discussion and manners make me think otherwise. They talk about doing coke and crystal, then I chime in when they talk about sour straws. Which I have some, and share with them. We get into a car, and we are driving up a hill, and pass a 700 rolyce royce, in which one of the girls hits cause we are going too fast. Both cars stop and I get a look at the inside dashboard with speakers. We keep driving, and the car goes faster and faster, and then the girl drives it off the cliff at the top and we fly to our death - I don’t know - woke up halfway down…

As I awoke from my sleep on the ever-so comfertable pull out bed in Naperville, My sister greeted me with our chihuahua Cooper. She told me that Napoleon Dynamite had died from a drug over-dose. What the fuck, eh? I woke up and in the state of curiousity I googled the actor and found it to be a huge rumor. Then I thought - God, wouldn’t it suck if you were an actor who played a role in a movie, and upon your death, the name of your character was repeated, instead of your true name?! The actor who played Napoleon Dynamite is Jared Hess, and yes, I had to IMDB.com it to figure it out. But what is more interesting is that the tiny SUBURBAN community of Naperville, this is common knowledge. This is the latest - and it’s funny how no one in the city even cares about it. Sigh.

I’m with a bunch of my guy friends, its summer time and I’m in the backyard of my parents house. I’m eating at a picnic table when I look and see a stranger, a tall blonde, overly geeky man looking at us from the other yard. He approches us and takes his shirt off, showing an attractive body. Some people leave, but most still eat. I pick up my plate and slowly walk into the house, where I see my dad watching a cartoon with a shot of a tsunami washing away a town. I sneer at the sight of it, and the stranger follows me. He strikes up a conversation “so are you friends with all those guys” yeah, I say, ” do you know joe —-, I respond yes. ” how about esan, “ethan yeah,” no, esan he retorts - he’s not here yet.” As I look at him I’m increasingly getting attracted, I walk him upstair with the intent to make out. I wake up.

I watched I Heart Huckabees. I thought it was a good movie. Blog.